Sunday, November 16, 2008

Becoming Still

I had to take Bashful back to the vet for a followup exam. She was stressed out and terrified. I was able to briefly become still for about 10 seconds. My mind stilled and this indescribeable feeling of warmth welled up within me. It was the only way I could think of to nonverbally communicate with her that everything would be okay. Too bad I haven't been able to make such instances last more than 10 seconds.


I think you're trying too hard.
Possibly. It's easier when there's a lack of sensory stimuli, such as meditating in the dark. It's more difficult when one is thinking and responding within the environment. It's easier if I am doing something right brained rather than left brained like driving.
Well noticed. But the thing is to just do it. Effort defeats your very purpose. You've probably read Watt's book on Zen; he discusses it in there, too. But then again, reading the description of the apparatus is in no way equivalent to having the experience.

I've found that some more types of things (like letting the mind settle) if the body/mind can be simultaneously tied up in doing something it already knows how to do well, that already is done automatically. But for me that would be like driving or cycling or swimming or maybe throwing pots.
I had my greatest satori while driving a car. For me, it has to be a right brained activity. Many of the activities you mentioned are likely right brained. My problem is that I was trained entirely left brained - to observe and then analyze what I have observed. This interrupts the satori experience.
Define satori - I tend to think of it as momentary.
All experiences are momentary. With repetitive practice, any experience may be lengthened to an extent. Is that not true? Humans who are spontaneously enlightened are a rare breed. Most of us have to practice to reach the level they are at. Or, maybe that is what we are taught to believe. All my glimpses have been very brief thus far. Silence, stillness, then the mind intrudes. I forget exactly what the feeling was like during the experience and have to "remember" it again. Or try to. For me, the closest analogy is trying to awaken from a deep sleep. The alarm clock goes off, you turn it off and go back to sleep because you are so tired, and not conscious enough to fight the urge to sleep. The periods of no-thought are increasing, but the peace I first felt three years ago has eluded me.
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