Sunday, August 03, 2008

Uncetainties of the Heart

Nothing much going on. It's hotter than Hell here in Dallas. I had a brunch date with a nice woman yesterday. Don't know how it went. She's extremely smart and self-confident, but then she has to be because she's the parent of two teens and a health professional. Between work and parenting, she has little time for dates, so it seems like it will be catch as catch can provided she wants a second date. My father says that if it doesn't come easy, then it's not worth it. The problem I see is that when you're in your late forties, your options are slim for dating prospects. They are even slimmer if you are playing catchup with your peers because you weren't making money in grad school. Then again, if a woman only likes you for your income, how superficial is that? She said that she intimidates many men because she is smart. That doesn't bother me. I had to get used to smart women in grad school as well, but it is true that a lot of men don't like smart women because their egos can't handle it. As Julie once remarked, "If it's meant to be, it will be regardless of what you do or don't do". I'm not so sure. A lot of what goes on in our heads is subconscious. We pick up and analyze cues all the time, but the whole process happens beneath our conscious perception. Still, I have Jerry Goldsmith's march from Patton which is a uplifting tune when I think about yesterday's brunch. As earworms go, one could do much worse. I suppose I'll have some sort of answer in a few days.

Postscript: She mentioned that the sponsors of the Academic Decathlon at her children's school like B and C students instead of the A students because the former students think faster on their feet. Really? That doesn't quite gibe with what the Wikipedia entry says. My high school chemistry teacher says that the chemistry curriculum has been watered down since I was in school. I hope the same isn't true for Acadeca.

Post-postscript: Who am I kidding? Myself of course. She sized me up in the first 30 seconds and came to a conclusion. Anything after that is a rationalization. So, for now I'll be a skeptic and assume that she's really not interested in romance until she indicates otherwise.

She emailed me at 11:38 PM and at least was honest and upfront. "I do not feel the connection that I am looking for in a gentleman." So, I didn't pass whatever criteria she has. However, I shouldn't take it personally, although that is easier said than done. Relief mingled with disappointment...and Life goes on.


I said that? Aight, well, it's not totally uninsightful, so I'll take it... Hopefully she'll want to go out again so y'all can get to know each other better.
Yes, you said something like that to the best of my recollection. I could probably look through our past chats for the exact wording, but I'm not inclined at this time. Women are a mystery to men. This one is no exception. I'm trying not to dwell on yesterday too much. It'll just make me anxious and I'll do something stupid. So, for now, I'll be in the Now. No problems, no worries.
ALAS!, we can only fool ourselves!

I think online dating is a good way to go.

In 2002 I divorced after 17 years of marriage. I quickly started using and to contact woman of similar age (I was 42 back then) and interests.

People say "isn't online a shot in the dark?"

Not if you chat extensively by email first.

And if things progress chat on the phone.

The chatting is fun in itself.

If phone conversation flows easily and is prolonged (say 30 minutes)thats a good indicator whether a date (brunch/lunch) is worthwhile.

Thats how I met my present wife Pam.


Yes, that's generally how I work it. Online dating depends upon the site though. Some sites have gone downhill lately. They are used by spammers and con artists looking to fleece people. I didn't have much luck with several years ago. Maybe it's gotten better of late.
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