Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Gifts From the Unmanifest
Driving home from work Monday morning, the sunrise was exquisite, the Sun just peeking over a dark gray lonely rain cloud, rays of sunlight bursting everywhere. A thought pops into my head, the Rising Sun, the symbol on Japan's flag in WWII, such a beautiful, spiritual symbol. How could such a spiritual people embark on such a mad endeavor which leads to the destruction of their nation, the death of their young men, the deaths of so many innocents and not-so innocents. But the sun beams are so beautiful and you can see the whiteness of the cloud behind the grayness as the sunlight backlights the cloud.
I sleep mostly soundly all day. Get up, shower, then am out the door for another twelve hour night shift. Driving to work, there isn't a lone rain cloud. The whole horizon is lined with rain swollen clouds and thunderheads swelling into the stratosphere. An even more beautiful sight then this morning. The witty line from Terry Pratchett about "some people coming positively alive during thunderstorms" pops into my head and I smile at the reference to Frankenstein's monster.The westward setting Sun isn't behind the thunderclouds quite yet. Sun beams everywhere. Awesome, spectacular! Love, love is shining through the clouds. Love shining on the small beings, human ants, driving across this vast planetary surface. Love shining on us even when we can't see it whether behind a rain swollen storm cloud or on the other side of our rotating planet. An absolute truth. A spiritual metaphor for what? I am always loved and never alone even during the darkest hours of my life. I am a part of that universal essence, but I can't feel that love and oneness now. What of the storms that cross my visage and hide my love and beauty from the eyes of others? My moments of madness. Are they gone, or are there storms to come? If an entire people can self-destruct, if the Japanese and my brother can self-destruct, then why not Americans? Why not me? I've died in a way, but I went the other way. Why me, and not Jim?
I sleep mostly soundly all day. Get up, shower, then am out the door for another twelve hour night shift. Driving to work, there isn't a lone rain cloud. The whole horizon is lined with rain swollen clouds and thunderheads swelling into the stratosphere. An even more beautiful sight then this morning. The witty line from Terry Pratchett about "some people coming positively alive during thunderstorms" pops into my head and I smile at the reference to Frankenstein's monster.The westward setting Sun isn't behind the thunderclouds quite yet. Sun beams everywhere. Awesome, spectacular! Love, love is shining through the clouds. Love shining on the small beings, human ants, driving across this vast planetary surface. Love shining on us even when we can't see it whether behind a rain swollen storm cloud or on the other side of our rotating planet. An absolute truth. A spiritual metaphor for what? I am always loved and never alone even during the darkest hours of my life. I am a part of that universal essence, but I can't feel that love and oneness now. What of the storms that cross my visage and hide my love and beauty from the eyes of others? My moments of madness. Are they gone, or are there storms to come? If an entire people can self-destruct, if the Japanese and my brother can self-destruct, then why not Americans? Why not me? I've died in a way, but I went the other way. Why me, and not Jim?
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Americans, America can self destruct, let us hope it doesn't happen, ever. That would be a step backwards in time, a vile event for the free world and humanity. That would be back to the 'animal nature', perhaps it would be to spring forward more than ever before? That is a spiritual rule for individuals, I would hate to see it necessary for us, but could be, I guess.
Relax, old man, you are young yet, there is surely more to come across your visage. Don't close any doors. Hope for the best. My best to you John.
Relax, old man, you are young yet, there is surely more to come across your visage. Don't close any doors. Hope for the best. My best to you John.
u seem to be vacant inside looking for smthing beyond truth....trying to sound contended u seem to b confused....if u keep thinking in this manner u'll never find fulfilment....come out buddy live life....too much thinking hampers ablitiy
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