Tuesday, June 06, 2006
The Last Battle
I fight my last battle. The opponent is my own mind. The battleground is within my skull. "John" is nearly gone. It is as if everything that happens to this body is happening to someone else. The detachment is eerie, almost mystical.
I went for a jog for exercise and to escape from mind-based activities and distractions. I was bothered because I lost all objectivity with another last night in conversation. Subjectively, I completely identified with the other. It is hard to tell if it was all deception from my mind or something else. I had to remind myself during the jog that the other is a separate human being with a completely different Life Situation, that's how completely lost I was. I am not "John" any more, but something else, something like a "we", but with no resemblance to a couple. It's an intensely spiritual entity. Not even the feeling of my last marriage comes close. After that insight, the jog was almost mystical . There was no abrupt transition, just peace and there was no "John", just an observer observing the air temperature and the brightness of light and the cracks in the sidewalk - taking in the whole scene.
Someone came back to his apartment, but it wasn't the same person who left it a short time earlier.
I went for a jog for exercise and to escape from mind-based activities and distractions. I was bothered because I lost all objectivity with another last night in conversation. Subjectively, I completely identified with the other. It is hard to tell if it was all deception from my mind or something else. I had to remind myself during the jog that the other is a separate human being with a completely different Life Situation, that's how completely lost I was. I am not "John" any more, but something else, something like a "we", but with no resemblance to a couple. It's an intensely spiritual entity. Not even the feeling of my last marriage comes close. After that insight, the jog was almost mystical . There was no abrupt transition, just peace and there was no "John", just an observer observing the air temperature and the brightness of light and the cracks in the sidewalk - taking in the whole scene.
Someone came back to his apartment, but it wasn't the same person who left it a short time earlier.
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John,
There are many stories of realization that are similar to this experience you had on your jog - of detachment to self, of finally just seeing through your own persona through eyes that don't seem to be your own. The mind wants to interfere with this, "Hey wait a minute... This must just be a deception." No, you are not just John anymore, not once you have seen through that which you have called John - your name, your credentials, your personhood. Seeing through this enables you to Be what you truly are, beyond your small self. This is actually an amazing thing you witnessed - your emergence from self. Though this is not an abrupt transition, it can bring about a peaceful fullness unlike anything ever experienced before. So subtle at times it is as though nothing changes, yet, with fresh eyes, everything changes.
Blessings to you, John,
M
There are many stories of realization that are similar to this experience you had on your jog - of detachment to self, of finally just seeing through your own persona through eyes that don't seem to be your own. The mind wants to interfere with this, "Hey wait a minute... This must just be a deception." No, you are not just John anymore, not once you have seen through that which you have called John - your name, your credentials, your personhood. Seeing through this enables you to Be what you truly are, beyond your small self. This is actually an amazing thing you witnessed - your emergence from self. Though this is not an abrupt transition, it can bring about a peaceful fullness unlike anything ever experienced before. So subtle at times it is as though nothing changes, yet, with fresh eyes, everything changes.
Blessings to you, John,
M
Now, John, you are on the way to achieving eternity and perfection, which is the goal of the whole of creation (and each individual), anyway. Good luck.
Is this observer separate from what is observed? Isn't there only just observation? And therefore only what is observed?
What effect this insight has remains to be seen.
Surely a tranformed observer or "John" is still an observer, a "John", a self, an I. But does it matter if the self remains and sees or thinks itself as observer? If you have finally realized that the observer as a separate entity is illusory or false, why worry about becoming or being enlightened? There is no self that is enlightened. There is only reality or life. And living or experiencing is all there is
at the present moment. Because there is only the present moment. It remains chopping wood.
What effect this insight has remains to be seen.
Surely a tranformed observer or "John" is still an observer, a "John", a self, an I. But does it matter if the self remains and sees or thinks itself as observer? If you have finally realized that the observer as a separate entity is illusory or false, why worry about becoming or being enlightened? There is no self that is enlightened. There is only reality or life. And living or experiencing is all there is
at the present moment. Because there is only the present moment. It remains chopping wood.
I have a new Post called STAYSEATED, everyone should go read it , it is short to the point and it is reality. Thanks, you will be doing someone a favor perhaps. Restoration/Restoration blog.
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