Friday, June 02, 2006
Emotions of Light and Grayness
Some of us suffer psychologically more than others. We are for the most part normal people, but we suffer mood swings - periods of happiness and periods of deep despair. It's a cyclical process. Supposedly, omega-3 fish oil will alleviate the symptoms. Meditation helps as well. I can only speak from my own experience, but subjectively, it seems that these two things have helped me. Sometimes an event will set me off and I'll get lost in gloom, or elation depending upon the context, but usually these periods happen on their own with no specific cause. I probably should mark on a calendar when these episodes occur in case its a specific environmental sensitivity that is triggering them.
I can hear you saying, "This guy needs lithium". No, this guy doesn't need lithium. My mood swings aren't that severe or crippling. Besides, elation and despair are the same thing. Only time makes them seem separate. Isn't that life, a cyclical process full of ups and downs, just like a sine wave, or waves on the ocean? Yet, the waves are ripples in a deep ocean. Sometimes I can feel the depth inside me and realize that I am not the despair. It's more difficult with the elation. People love joy, but they avoid despair. For me, I must embrace that darkness or grayness. Go into it and explore it. Despair is a time of discovery for me. I don't know why this is, but I reflect deeply during periods of despair.
You ask, "Why are you talking about this now?" I am writing this now because a kindred soul is going through something like this as well. This person despairs and wonders why someone so young has such thoughts and feelings. I don't know why. Genetic predisposition, level of intelligence, who knows? Probably it's more to do with intelligence. Smart people have to work in a world where they are a minority. This minority questions the status quo and ponders how things can be different, and maybe even better. There is an element of frustration when you are smart and run into someone who doesn't "get it", and perhaps pain is the result of that frustration. What about elation? Perhaps that's a response to figuring out the solution to a problem, consciously or subconsciously.
So, what is one to do? Detachment seems to be the best course. Or. maybe it should be aloof attachment. Realize that for whatever reason, these emotions are a part of me. I just shouldn't let myself be taken over completely by them. Embrace them and acknowledge them and use them, but don't get lost completely in them. It is difficult to see someone go through a similar experience that you've already been through, and there's nothing you can do to help that person. (And maybe I'm completely wrong and I don't know what this person is going through?) How do you tell him or her that it will be okay without sounding insincere or trite? A solution will present itself and everything will be OK. Nature and the World are simple. People make it all seem complex, but usually simple solutions appear at the appropriate time, or the problem wasn't a problem in the first place. How does one practice compassionate detachment, or is that an oxymoron?
Everyone is unique. Our minds and experiences flavor and color our Consciousness. Every one's experience will be different. While every life is precious, some are more precious to me than others. Perhaps growing as a person means that no one is more special than another, since everything and everyone is sacred. The greater love is to let someone go if you think you are holding them back, or impeding them in some way. That is just the Golden Rule in action. Enjoy them while they are in your Life. It's the quality of the interaction that counts.
I can hear you saying, "This guy needs lithium". No, this guy doesn't need lithium. My mood swings aren't that severe or crippling. Besides, elation and despair are the same thing. Only time makes them seem separate. Isn't that life, a cyclical process full of ups and downs, just like a sine wave, or waves on the ocean? Yet, the waves are ripples in a deep ocean. Sometimes I can feel the depth inside me and realize that I am not the despair. It's more difficult with the elation. People love joy, but they avoid despair. For me, I must embrace that darkness or grayness. Go into it and explore it. Despair is a time of discovery for me. I don't know why this is, but I reflect deeply during periods of despair.
You ask, "Why are you talking about this now?" I am writing this now because a kindred soul is going through something like this as well. This person despairs and wonders why someone so young has such thoughts and feelings. I don't know why. Genetic predisposition, level of intelligence, who knows? Probably it's more to do with intelligence. Smart people have to work in a world where they are a minority. This minority questions the status quo and ponders how things can be different, and maybe even better. There is an element of frustration when you are smart and run into someone who doesn't "get it", and perhaps pain is the result of that frustration. What about elation? Perhaps that's a response to figuring out the solution to a problem, consciously or subconsciously.
So, what is one to do? Detachment seems to be the best course. Or. maybe it should be aloof attachment. Realize that for whatever reason, these emotions are a part of me. I just shouldn't let myself be taken over completely by them. Embrace them and acknowledge them and use them, but don't get lost completely in them. It is difficult to see someone go through a similar experience that you've already been through, and there's nothing you can do to help that person. (And maybe I'm completely wrong and I don't know what this person is going through?) How do you tell him or her that it will be okay without sounding insincere or trite? A solution will present itself and everything will be OK. Nature and the World are simple. People make it all seem complex, but usually simple solutions appear at the appropriate time, or the problem wasn't a problem in the first place. How does one practice compassionate detachment, or is that an oxymoron?
Everyone is unique. Our minds and experiences flavor and color our Consciousness. Every one's experience will be different. While every life is precious, some are more precious to me than others. Perhaps growing as a person means that no one is more special than another, since everything and everyone is sacred. The greater love is to let someone go if you think you are holding them back, or impeding them in some way. That is just the Golden Rule in action. Enjoy them while they are in your Life. It's the quality of the interaction that counts.
Comments:
<< Home
Dear John,
Thoughtful post here. A dear friend once shared with me a way of being with angst that has proved to be very helpful. We make a place for all feelings, he said. Anger, grief, sadness, despair - there is a place for these. We notice their rising, and when they are through, we lovingly let them go.
Attachment/detachment? Tough question. The mind wants to say that one is better than the other. In wholeness, there is a graceful settling in the middle. Deep listening, opening your heart, and seeing the other as none other than your very self is the truest form of compassion.
Thoughtful post here. A dear friend once shared with me a way of being with angst that has proved to be very helpful. We make a place for all feelings, he said. Anger, grief, sadness, despair - there is a place for these. We notice their rising, and when they are through, we lovingly let them go.
Attachment/detachment? Tough question. The mind wants to say that one is better than the other. In wholeness, there is a graceful settling in the middle. Deep listening, opening your heart, and seeing the other as none other than your very self is the truest form of compassion.
I think this is how you find out if your insights are good and working.
Without these you'll never really know what enlightenment is all about. It will be nothing but empty discussions.
And at least you know how most people feel. This is compassion.
If you keep depending on medication and meditation, you'll never become truly enlightened. So, the thing to do is to ask yourself how it feels all the time. And find out how it feels. You will find that everytime the quality changes. Be willing to suffer. Tears may fall, and it can be really painful. Don't try to escape or run away. Your mind and body will become used to it after a while. And your strength will increase.
Let it be until the agony and despair turns to ecstasy and confidence.
Without these you'll never really know what enlightenment is all about. It will be nothing but empty discussions.
And at least you know how most people feel. This is compassion.
If you keep depending on medication and meditation, you'll never become truly enlightened. So, the thing to do is to ask yourself how it feels all the time. And find out how it feels. You will find that everytime the quality changes. Be willing to suffer. Tears may fall, and it can be really painful. Don't try to escape or run away. Your mind and body will become used to it after a while. And your strength will increase.
Let it be until the agony and despair turns to ecstasy and confidence.
# posted by 
: 4:05 PM
: 4:05 PM
The big secret is not to try to change how you feel. Just feel it or notice it and let it be. Let it go of its own accord. You should not condition yourself to react in a certain way to thoughts and despair. Just observe what is going on in your mind. Don't become attach to anything by way of judgement, grasping or pushing away. Just feel it.
# posted by : 4:12 PM
: 4:12 PM
I resonate with your thoughts and feelings.
I found love being the essential ingredient for detachment to work. If love is missing, then detachment would seem to be forcecul and cold. It sounds like a paradox doesn't it? But when detachment and love happens at the same time, it put things in perspective for me, allow me to see the bigger picture and come from a space of inner strength to give whatever support or help is needed.
Everyone has to grow and learn at their own time, own space and own speed. Some prefer to learn it the hard way. I can't force the flower to bloom any faster but could only patiently wait and keep nurturing and watering the flower.
I found love being the essential ingredient for detachment to work. If love is missing, then detachment would seem to be forcecul and cold. It sounds like a paradox doesn't it? But when detachment and love happens at the same time, it put things in perspective for me, allow me to see the bigger picture and come from a space of inner strength to give whatever support or help is needed.
Everyone has to grow and learn at their own time, own space and own speed. Some prefer to learn it the hard way. I can't force the flower to bloom any faster but could only patiently wait and keep nurturing and watering the flower.
I wouldn't assume that you know better for the other person. You could sound insincere or trite because you are assuming something that you do not know to be true.
Would it be ok with you if they are not ok or may never be ok? Sounds more like a limitation that you impose on yourself that you are then subjecting them to, and I doubt that that feels good.
What is, "compassionate detachment"? Sounds to me like an unwillingness to feel your own feelings in the face of another person's pain. I'm not sure why that would be supportive.
"Enjoy them while they are in your Life."
and why does it all boil down to your happiness?
In my experience, "Intelligence" is rarely useful when the intent is to escape the mind. You sound so mind driven that it's almost too painful to read.
Would it be ok with you if they are not ok or may never be ok? Sounds more like a limitation that you impose on yourself that you are then subjecting them to, and I doubt that that feels good.
What is, "compassionate detachment"? Sounds to me like an unwillingness to feel your own feelings in the face of another person's pain. I'm not sure why that would be supportive.
"Enjoy them while they are in your Life."
and why does it all boil down to your happiness?
In my experience, "Intelligence" is rarely useful when the intent is to escape the mind. You sound so mind driven that it's almost too painful to read.
# posted by : 4:47 PM
: 4:47 PM
I raised many kids, know all about 'compassionate detachment', how? because they grew up, I still loved them like I did, but, being adults, I have to keep back, let them do thier lives, it is difficult to say the least, especially when they have bad consequences from some decisions or moves, then I have to be here as if nothing they did was a problem. 'CD' is real.
Smart, intelligent, people, especially when young, make live more complicated than otherwise due to wanting to have problems to solve with their minds. Later, when older, they know better, don't invent the problems, even learn to keep mind off many real ones, ones that are not neccessary for correction. They learn to focus that power eventually.
but a youth who worries and wrestles with profound identity problems/questions, this is 'necessary' for that one. Comes from a source, finding the source solves the crises. Often the short past of the youth, and what the parents/et al, gave, was not sufficient for the advanced state of the person, this is a real phenomena, occurs frequently, feels like being born into the wrong place. The 'source' of the problem is not the 'givers', but what was given, there was/is needed something else, more. Often the 'given' was simply too light weight, intellectually, and the person needed more, even requires more. Simply then, even the depths of the given, are too shallow. Simply again, the person has to reach out for more weight.
Sometimes that one even tries to put talent to work in a field, (occupation), that also is too shallow, not rewarding enough. Then that one should take that talent and that intelligence and put it into personal/professional use, like become, besides the job, an artist, or writer, or some such, part time, then the parttime can absorb the intellect and talent and even rise to first place. Young people have a greater struggle today than ever, but yet it is the same.
Post a Comment
Smart, intelligent, people, especially when young, make live more complicated than otherwise due to wanting to have problems to solve with their minds. Later, when older, they know better, don't invent the problems, even learn to keep mind off many real ones, ones that are not neccessary for correction. They learn to focus that power eventually.
but a youth who worries and wrestles with profound identity problems/questions, this is 'necessary' for that one. Comes from a source, finding the source solves the crises. Often the short past of the youth, and what the parents/et al, gave, was not sufficient for the advanced state of the person, this is a real phenomena, occurs frequently, feels like being born into the wrong place. The 'source' of the problem is not the 'givers', but what was given, there was/is needed something else, more. Often the 'given' was simply too light weight, intellectually, and the person needed more, even requires more. Simply then, even the depths of the given, are too shallow. Simply again, the person has to reach out for more weight.
Sometimes that one even tries to put talent to work in a field, (occupation), that also is too shallow, not rewarding enough. Then that one should take that talent and that intelligence and put it into personal/professional use, like become, besides the job, an artist, or writer, or some such, part time, then the parttime can absorb the intellect and talent and even rise to first place. Young people have a greater struggle today than ever, but yet it is the same.
<< Home
