Thursday, March 23, 2006
It's been a week and a half since she received the check. It's not been cashed yet. Figured she would have cashed it ASAP since I had to FEDEX it to her.
learning from the future will deliver you, she is not in your future, say Amen.
John and I had an unfortunate misunderstanding, a lack of communication on both our parts. We were both under the wrong impression. He knew and understood what our situation was from the very first email he sent me. He took this a step further then what it was or could ever be. How can you fall in love with someone after spending only 12 hours together?
After our first meeting I explained to John, in many emails, what our relationship was. I have a life and a family outside of him that can never be altered. I also told him that if he could not control his feelings then I would never see him again. John brought this pain upon himself and is trying to blame me. I am sorry for his pain but I will not take the blame for it.
John, I do wish you nothing but the very best that life has to offer.
I thank you for letting me know that my dream was a false one. I am glad you are keeping the crucifix. Yes, I was foolish. Yes, my pain was self-inflicted. I didn't expect you to love me since I don't even know your real name. Annie is just an alias. Besides, you had a boyfriend and I live in another city entirely.
I wanted to see if you could be gracious. I wanted to see if you could be a lady for one night of your life. I only disappointed myself. You'll have a good life. I have no doubt. Best wishes and good fortune.
You got upset with the waitress at TGIF over the bill which turned out to have been correct. At the hotel, you got upset because they didn't have a bellhop to carry everything down to your car after dinner. You weren't really mad at them, you were mad with me for not bringing enough cash. This is what I noticed and this is really why I am upset at the whole deal.
People can read this and decide for themselves. Obviously, I was foolish for being nice to you on your birthday and giving you gifts, not to mention seeing you in the first place. I had forgotten your earlier admonition about gifts. I just thought that your birthday would be the only time I could give you any gifts at all, since birthdays are when people give other people gifts, especially 40th birthdays.
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