Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Going to be a nice week

The Sun is shining. Temperatures will be in the 70s most likely. Trying to just be and touch people in a positive way, mostly online. I've been trying to get a date, but no luck with the two online sites I frequent. Probably trying too hard. Annie encouraged me to find another woman in an email shortly after the first visit. She has a boyfriend although I don't know how happy she is with him. She just considers our visits to be fantasy encounters. Well, I plan to make her fantasies come true when we next meet. This should be a really nice Birthday for her barring any accidents or illness. Just have a few things to do, but pretty much have her gifts in order. Had a dream where a friend of mine carried a heavy rock into what I think was a hospital room tonight. Am thinking that it means that he's carrying a heavy burden into the hospital with him. It might be his wife since she's in and out of the hospital. My life is pretty quiet, but then I am just trying to be in the Now, although my mind still drags me along quite a bit. It gets easier to learn how to disidentify from it the more I meditate and watch it. There was an article on the BBC website that premature babies suffer more from anxiety and have more withdrawn personalities possibly from brain damage suffered from the early birth, or perhaps it's a developmental issue since the last few months in utero are spent on lung and brain development. I didn't have that luxury when I was born. I'm lucky to even be here.
Why try to touch people in a positive way. What if they prefer not to be, can you give them the room to really be without all the phony positives.

It's hard to imagine that it could be comfortable to just be in your presence, with all your ideas how it is better to be positive. Being entails so much more, why the limitations?
Who says that I am phony? That is your opinion based on a few words in a blog entry and you are entitled to it, but I don't have to accept it. It's better to spread a little heartfelt joy through the world. After all, men are spreading quite a bit of fear and violence throughout it already. So if I choose to be nice to someone that is my choice. If they choose to ignore my gift then that is their choice if you can call it that and they are lost in their own suffering. Spreading cheer and expecting something in return means that the ego is tainting the act of kindness. I can't deny that occasionally I would like a thank you or some such, but I recognize that it's my ego ascerting itself and I recognize it for what it is.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?