Thursday, January 26, 2006

What Is Acceptance

Annie emailed me yesterday. I responded that I missed her terribly. That admission, some jogging, lack of sleep and apartment cleaning seemed to do the trick. I've evidently accepted the present for what it is. During work, I was doing some walking meditation since all was quiet on the consoles. I could tell I was usually Present except for a stray thought here or there. I sent her healing energy for her jaw and back and asked "God" that if it be his will to heal her. I don't know what else to do except think positive thoughts, send positive energy and ask The Unmanifested if she will be healed. No woman should suffer physical abuse at the hands of a loved one. Her jaw was broken by her ex-husband and she's still in pain. I know that part of the reason we were brought to together was to bring out my unconsciousness. I hope it is to heal her as well, but I don't know at this time. If I can love her without bias, without ego or judgement, completely unconditionally, then I should be more transparent to the light. I'm going to try to quit divining with the pendulum so as to leave The Universe full possibilities/potentialities with me. I think my inner purpose has always been to be a bridge between this World and the Unmanifested. It feels right. Guess I'll find out. Should also find out just how conscious I am. Love, Light, Bliss, and Happiness to Annie! Bliss to those who read this entry! Enjoy the day everyone!
Love to and with you, John.
If you could just take her off the mountain you've put her on and recognize that she is not some super human being you might not have to suffer so much when the illusion breaks.

This looks like a train wreck in the making and does not sound like love but a will to possess.
I have not put her on a pedestal. She's a human being. I don't wish or intend to possess her. How can you possess anyone? You can't make anyone love you when they don't have the same feelings. This is my suffering and I have to go past it. It's not her fault, but my fault. The whole purpose of this suffering to to break the last of my illusions. Without suffering, there would be no enlightenment.
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