Wednesday, January 25, 2006
During meditation using a meditation CD I have, there's a section where I am supposed to send love and light to my loved ones. This past Sunday and Monday, I blanked out in that section almost every time I played the CD. It has never happened when I think of my family, so it likely was something to do with Annie.
So, these are the following signs of change in my life:
1. Brief loss of consciousness during specific meditation exercise on precise days that are her "weekend".
2. Pendulum was kind of correct that she'd never write about me. Never expected her to shut down the blog though.
3. Impulse to clean out my apartment of old books and magazines. It's not just a cleaning, but more like clutter removal. I'm definitely freeing up space in my life, literally. The Universe says that I might be moving, but to where, and more importantly, when?
I couldn't help asking. These are the following answers I've gotten from my subconscious:
1. Annie will write me within a week.
2. I shouldn't buy plane tickets or book a hotel room until early February for some reason (give the Universe time for what purpose?).
3. I shouldn't send her a Valentine's Day ecard. That's bizarre, but it's the "right action" if there is such a thing.
Last week I started reciting the following mantra:
I will accept the present moment as it is now. I will accept Annie as she is now. I will unconditionally love her without reservation, bias, or judgement. I want what is best for her regardless of what I want, desire or need.
This seems like the only sane thing to do and sooner or later, I should align with what reality desires me to have, not what I want. I do not wish to cause her or myself any more pain. I will not cause Annie any more pain or suffering from my unconscious actions provided I can stay Present.