Thursday, November 03, 2005
Woke up early. Stayed up until 9:00 AM hoping Annie might drop me an email. Been corresponding with her the last few weeks. Lovely woman. Big soul and very nice on the eyes. Hope we'll get to meet in January. Always have trouble sleeping the beginning of the shift. Don't know why. Wonder if this shift is prematurely aging me. Try to get enough sleep but don't always succeed due to daytime noise.Heart hurts. Don't know if it's chest pains or my heart chakra is blocked or some such. Chest pains are chest pains. Have to learn not to worry.Cats don't have any worries or issues. They sleep when they wish. They do as they please. They live entirely in the moment. Envy them their freedoms. They aren't neurotic like dogs.We kill wolves from fear but we kill tigers out of reverance. No part of a dog confers fertility or power, but bear parts and tiger parts do. How messed up is that? The tigers will be memories in 20 years due to poaching, except perhaps in the swamps of India where the tigers still seem to be feared and kill humans with impunity and a ferociousness their larger brethren have lost due to retaliation by humanity. It is so easy to destroy and it takes so long to create. Tigers took millions of years to evolve but it will take Man only 200 years of extensive poaching and logging to wipe most of them off the Earth.How unconscious id that? Who do I cry more for, the tiger who holds no grudges or cares, or Mankind who should know better? If I am lost, what does that say about my fellow humans? Enough sorrow. It is still a pretty day - full of promise! I can only fix myself or at least make space for grace to work its miracle. Hope Annie is having a great day! Hope all those I love and care about are having good/great days!